Tailwhips

(Found in my drafts from 3 and a half years ago)

My kid has been trying to land tailwhips on his scooter for over two years. When was the last time you tried anything for that period of time?

He is a fearless creature; this characteristic not only shows up in what he does physically, but in his ability to connect with strangers at the skatepark, ask questions of the much older skateboarders about wax and tools, and his capacity to care.

This last one is important. And I’ll get it it.

Tailwhips are an awesome trick to witness when done with speed and ease. I have no idea the aerodynamics that are required, but I think aside from the science, you need to first have a desire to master it and the confidence to take the first step. J has been attempting this non-stop for probably closer to three years, as the pandemic inevitably forces me to calculate everything inaccurately.

Over the weekend, with just he and I at a skatepark that he endured his first major injury a few years prior, he land 14 in a row. As I sat on the bench, the humidity already making my hair bigger than I had woke with and the sweat around my midsection making me uncomfortable, I watched that 11 year old count each landed tailwhip with delight. A 7 year old watched on as he slowly approached the concrete bowl.

I was amazed.

That 7 year old was amazed.

My kid was ecstatic.

He missed number 15. He came over, peeled his helmet off his mat of dark long curls that were glued to his head like a Ken doll, and he said, Well, that was pretty great.

He guzzled the last of his lukewarm water, put his helmet back on and started again.

At (almost) 46, I couldn’t remember the last time I had done anything so consistently with a goal. It’s been a very long time.

I used to train for races.

I used to set new PRs for my squats and bench presses.

I used to track 100 miles of running/walking.

But that was almost a lifetime and identity ago.

I have had zero goals in over five years.

My kid reminded me that even when you hit a goal, you can stretch that to 15 tailwhips and not 14.

Getting back to to J’s fearless around his capacity to care… that little 7 year old fell a few times while we were baking in the early morning heat on Saturday. There was an 18 year old skater, who lost her footing and her board ran down the bowl like the sweat on the back of my neck. In both instances, that kid dropped what he was doing and helped them. His community was in those two kids, showing up to do something they loved to do, even though they weren’t perfect.

Our fearlessness to act and stretch and attain is something that is so important to our growth. But, our fearlessness in connecting with other humans, in talking when things are uncomfortable, in reaching out when things are tough and in offering a hand when things are even tougher, adds to who we are as people.

My kid’s confidence in those tailwhips and the ability to connect to those strangers is making him the human he will be down the road. He will learn to try and take risks. He will realize the people around him are just as important as the goals he sets and tasks he needs to do. In fact, he may realize that connecting with people will only help him in his future pursuits.

I’m going to learn how to roller skate. Isn’t that wild? I have committed to myself as I take a much needed social media break, I will endeavor to learn a new task. I’m starting really big and bold, but if you know me, that won’t come as a surprise.

I know this goal is big, but, like my kid in his ability to reach out, ask questions, offer his hand, and a “you okay?” I, too, will rely on those around me for support.

Here’s to an incredible New year.