Looking Back

I have come a long way!

It is crazy to think the picture on the left was me.  I was at my absolute heaviest here, the weekend I conceived my second baby!  Looking back, I can’t believe I put my health at risk carrying a baby at such an unhealthy weight.  My BMI was 46 here!  The is almost off the charts.  With a hip circumference of 58 and a waist of 47 I was at risk for SO many things at this stage in my life.

The picture on the right was this past February.  I had purchased a silk embroidered skirt from a consignment shop here in Oakville.  It was beautiful and a size 16.  A size I hadn’t seen in over 10 years.  I couldn’t get it over my bust or over my thighs – so technically, couldn’t get into it at all.  This February for my annual Valentines Day Feast I host for my best girlfriends, I wore it.  And I swore I would get rid of all my SPANX.  This is me wearing my skirt (although you can’t see it) and so very happy to be SPANX-free for the first time at an outing.

When I look back at pictures, it is really hard for me to remember my life at ‘creeping towards 300’.  But when I let my focus go now, whether it’s getting stuck in a rut with no activity or just eating like crap, my body quickly reminds me where I was.  No joke!  For those of you who have been overweight before or are on your own journey, it just takes a little distraction to see the pounds back on.  I can gain five pounds in a breath, but it takes me days and weeks of work to get those pounds off.  This is now my reality.

With my Five Week Challenge this summer, I am reminded that if my health and fitness are a priority, I have to keep both top of mind throughout the day, into the night, as I plan, as I sleep – with every breath I take, I cannot lose my focus.  Because if I do, I will surely be back to where I was – this is just the truth.

I feel like I am quickly forgetting my past life.  I was at a concert recently and sat in the seat – and there was room.  I was way at the first level close to the floors and I sprinted up the stairs to hit the washrooms – two experiences that were COMPLETELY different just two years ago.  I would have had to squish my butt in the seats, camouflaging my stomach with my bag on my lap (we’ve all done that!) and waited for the lights to go down to go up the stairs so no one would see me struggle.  Such lies, but that’s where I was.

If you’re reading this and any of this seems like your experience, just know your body and you deserve better.  If it’s 10 pounds or 300 you have to lose, know you can do it.  I was so far from what my reality was, I didn’t even realize where my life was headed.  But now I do and I am so excited!



One thought on “Looking Back

  1. I hear ya Deen. A few pound crept back on me this past month. Actually they Didn’t creep, I know exactly where they came from and how they got there. Travelling is a chore when we are eating out often. Trying to make the best choices and getting my run in and lots of walking. But it is a constant battle! So just going to enjoy and do my best!
    Keep on keeping on…


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